Hello darlings, how are you? My name is Ariadne...you probably know me because...I am very famous..and I am...oh, how do you say in English... beautiful! I am married to a famous Greek footballer..Thaniki Thesaloniki..do you know him? He is very famous, we have a lot of celebrity friends and we go to their parties: all the time!
I know you are very jealous of me, but please do not be jealous darlings, I only speak the truth... if you are playing with yourself while you read this then you are a sexual animal and should be put down..there, a little bit of truth for you darlings...
All my famous friends, they come to me for advice..because I am very clever and also because I am very..how do you say in English? Beautiful! So my friend he comes to me..he is having a hard time in his marriage..his name is Paul..sir Paul... do you know him? He is very famous, he come to me and he say
"Ariadne Ariadne, I am so unhappy, and you, your hair shines like the sun...your eyes sparkle like the moon..what can I do to be like you?"
And I say to him...Paul...Sir Paul..forget that BITCH! Heather 'PaymyBills' McCartney eh? That is what I call her darlings..instead of Heather Mills..I say, Heather 'PaymyBills'...you know why?! I AIN'T SAYIN SHE'S A GOLDIGGA, BUT SHE AIN'T MESSIN WITH NO BROKE SINGA, is she?
I say to him..Paul..YOU are a god of music..Heather Mills is a PROSTITUTE WITH ONE LEG! I say to him, you are on LiveAid, singing Sargeant Pepper Lonely Hearts..with Bono...mmm? She is on eh....Strictly Come Dancing... waving her funny leg in the air....and doing the PLASTIC FANTASTIC! it's no good darlings!
You know some people say to me that I am a Goldigga, because I am married to a Footballer..but I don't listen because the people that say this, they are .....eh...how you say in English.... poor! So I don't listen darlings!
That's it from me for now darlings but tune in again for more stories about my celebrity friends and the world in which everyone is jealous of me.... and remember..PLEASE DO NOT BE JEALOUS, XXXXXXXXX
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